I finally understand the ecstatic feeling that comes right after making an important decision. Last week I collected all the the courage I could and turned in my application form for a Congressional Washington internship. I’m a wanderer at heart, but I knew deep down in my heart and mind that after learning about the program I knew exactly what I wanted to do for my near future as a “almost journalist”. I took upon myself to learn every positive aspect about it, and couldn’t find a single reason to turn it down.
The week after attending the program forum for applicants and desisted of the idea of applying, I kept repeating to myself that I wasn’t worth it, and that other students were better than me when it came to such serious matters like the word “Washington” and “internship” combined. Mostly I was just afraid of trying because I easily let myself believe I’m never good enough.
After a cloudy week of negative thoughts, I jumped on the boat of “not looking back” and continued writing my application essay, which I had irresponsibly abandoned that terrible week. I typed everything I felt at that exact moment, I poured every idea I had in my mind about the essay key question and even had the courage to call an editor friend to help me with typos.
A few days ago, I received an email confirming my last application evaluation: the interview. When I’m not here to talk about that, because it’s actually happening this friday, I will say that I’m irrevocably proud at myself for taking the first big step and filling out that form. Even if I don’t get accepted, the mere idea of me even running errands to send my applications and finishing a spellbound essay make me feel satisfied and complete. Fear punched me in the stomach a few times and decided to creep behind my head, not letting me concentrate and take action for what I really wanted to do.
I’m incredibly nervous for the interview, but I’m genuinely looking forward to it. Insecurity is such a tiresome and overrated reason. I have finally let go of all those confusing feelings and feel relieved. I advise you to the same. Jump in the “not looking back” boat and find that you WILL get to places (symbolically and literally!)
p.s Wish me luck, I wish you all the best in life